It’s the SMALL things that matter

In the last two months, life seems to have changed a LOT! It’s very easy to be overwhelmed and YES, sometimes it is a LOT to process. It seems like this change has been thrust upon us, even though we weren’t ready for it.

Through this mess, my learning has been this: WE are solely responsible for our lives and we cannot remain the same as before. Change is the only constant. Every change starts by being mindful of our thoughts because our thoughts create our reality. The sooner we accept the reality and step into the unknown, the better we can step into our potential.

A human being has approximately 70,000 thoughts in a day. MOST of these thoughts are the SAME as that of the recent past (i.e. yesterday, the day before, last week). That means, our past patterns (which were formed through past situations, which may or may not be relevant right NOW) determine our current reality unless we consciously acknowledge and change them. Without this deliberate change, our patterns and realities remain the same. Since we very casually share our thoughts (and thus beliefs) with our closest friends and family, their realities pretty much remain the same as well because that feels ‘normal’. Therefore, there is a very rare chance of someone in our close circle experiencing a different reality. This is also in tune with the Universal Law of Attraction.

Thank God, OUR THOUGHTS are NOT FACTS! Thank God, we can change our reality by changing our perceptions (even though the physical reality may seem completely different) because we aren’t really changing facts, are we?

I have found peace by incorporating these small changes to manage this crisis.

1. Incorporating Awareness: Mindfulness is the practice of being with whatever shows up. See it. Feel it. Hold yourself as gently as a butterfly and experience what presents itself, without always needing to act. If you find your awareness going into the future and creating a situation that causes you to feel fear, then grab hold of your awareness and bring it back to the present. If the fear you see in your mind has a strong possibility of manifesting, then find solutions to ensure it does not happen. But by all means, do NOT let your awareness go back to that “Fear area” of the mind. Do NOT re-enact that situation again and DO NOT return to continue to experience fear. Awareness helps us temper our temper. It’s ok and natural to experience these buffet of emotions, but it’s certainly not healthy to LIVE with them.

2. Working on our LIMITING beliefs (This is a game-changer): We all ACCUMULATE beliefs based on our past experiences and we often hold them in our highest regard because we have experienced this ourselves or someone close to us has experienced it.

If you notice normal conversations, especially held by our elders, you will notice so many underlying old beliefs that surface out, as we ponder over deeper conversations. These casual conversations are a very subtle way of transferring those beliefs and over a period of time, it is funny how, we too, end up believing it. We don’t even take the liberty to question if those beliefs serve us in the present times.

Some limiting beliefs/ “empowering beliefs” that some of us are facing during this crisis can look like:”

– I can’t handle this anymore!”, “This is too much to handle” or “We are all going to be screwed”. “No, you can continue to handle this and it gets better every day. Look how far you have come from Day 1 to Day 70. It’s all about small progress every day.”

-Happiness comes from outside. Eg. from what I do or from what I have achieved. “True everlasting happiness comes from within. The most content monks can sell their Ferrari and still feel good. Ask Robin Sharma.”

-“I am not good enough. Something is wrong with me.” “No, I give more of myself to others than anyone expects.”

-“I cannot do without my morning cup of tea. 4 cups of tea is my daily ritual and I cannot do without it”. “I love my tea rituals because it empowers me. I am not a slave to my unconscious urges. I just do what I love to make me feel good while taking care of the food I put in my body”.

-I will never be able to trust anyone. “If I can’t trust, I must; If I must, I can.”

Argue for your Limiting Beliefs and sure enough, they are yours.

Here is a story someone once told me. A baby elephant was once bought into a circus and chained to a tree by his owner, using a strong metal chain. Since the elephant was not used to being caged, he tried to break free but he couldn’t. The elephant cried out aloud for help and kept trying to unshackle his chains. As days passed by, he grew frustrated by the lack of results in spite of his unflinching efforts and thus he slowly started losing hope. His efforts reduced day by day and as weeks turned to months, he slowly stopped trying and eventually gave up. A few days later, the owner replaced the strong metal chain with a thin rope. The elephant, who continued to be caged in his limiting thoughts (of not being strong enough to break through), never realized that the situation had changed. He continued to be chained by a thin rope when all he had to do was change his belief.

Does this resonate? We end up carrying permanent beliefs out of temporary situations. Since situations around us have been changing due to COVID 19, this is an excellent time to retest if all our beliefs still stand strong.

3. Dealing with unnecessary emotions– Emotion is Energy-in-MOTION. Fear, like worry, is a result of awareness going into the future, creating something that has not happened and returning to the present and fearing it. Fear is tied to our physical body and senses and is the doorway to all lower emotions. It’s your responsibility to take care of your well being, so allow frustration only to a point. Recognize your emotions and let them pass through. Allow the reality of life and surrender. You are responsible for your train not everyone else’s. You can EITHER let anger and frustration of the truth of this reality cage you OR act consciously and take responsibility for yourself and others. It is very convenient to fall into the “victimization mentality“- where everyone is always out of your control and everything is always out of your control. Set your high standards and execute up to it. Meditate, Journal, spend some time by yourself doing what you love and what makes you feel good!

4. Managing Energies – Energy is like water. When it’s not moving, it gets stagnant and eventually, it becomes murky and gross. Similarly, once energy starts moving, it’s easier to direct and channel it to the positive parts of the mind. While you’re at home during this crisis, focus on easy wins to keep your energy moving. Once energy is flowing, channel it into making a plan—whether it’s a financial plan for your business or a mental health plan to keep your whole family uplifted while you’re all at home together. Stay centered and show them what’s possible. Be of service. Live, Love, Matter.

It can be challenging to go through the day and feel super exhausted. The essential tip is to take that pre-emptive energy break every hour! Every Hour is a new period to change, so take that hourly break to Recharge, Maintain the important stuff, Clear the mind, and then Go! Set a timer for 50 minutes to finish a task, and when you take that break – bounce on your feet, stretch, move the body, or get it pulsing. Release the tension and reset an intention EVERY HOUR.

Start with one hour at a time and try it for the whole day. That keeps you powered through the day.

5. The Importance of Structure:

It is unbelievable the degree to which our sanity depends on our functioning sociological structure. We as humans need to know what to do every day because we are similar to other animals. Eg: Pet dogs, Young children. They all have a schedule to follow and if the schedule is not maintained, they can get sick. For humans, 70- 80% of things that we do, consist of those things that we do repeatedly every day. Like: What to eat, when to eat, what time to start working etc. Keeping a routine maintains predictability and keeps you happier. It reduces decision fatigue and it gives you the FREEDOM to not feel guilty about the task you are doing because you have already committed to it. We can use structure to help us plan things that make us feel amazing. When we do the hard things first, everything else feels easy!

My friend Sanika has been super inspirational on Instagram every day since the lockdown began. She shows up for her workout at the scheduled time (which could be hard), and then she earns her happy through that workout, and then she feels empowered and proud of herself because it gets her close to her goal of getting a fabulous body! I bet that feels liberating! That’s using the power of structure to feel fantastic!

6. The essence of Detachment:

This is the ultimate power of all- To not be owned by what you own. The power of Detachment is the power of not being attached to a certain outcome of a situation. We all definitely work keeping an intention in mind, but at times we can over obsess, thus not enjoying the process. Letting go means reducing the resistance of the task and to stop limiting it to come out a certain way. Detachment is not being emotionless. There is beauty to ALLOW things to fall in place naturally and not allow fears to get to the mind. This topic deserves a post of its own.

7. Building Deep Relationships:

One thing quarantine is making very clear is the need to have meaningful relationships. We are finding some of our closest relationships being put to the test during this time apart and it may be very easy to be at each other’s throat. This brings us to the concept of Mirroring. Remember this when something seems off with someone: People put you in a position to feel exactly the same way that they feel. The way you make someone feel will eventually become the way you make them feel. The Law of Attraction says, “You don’t get in life what you want, but what you ARE”.

Eg: Let’s talk of a modern day family. The kids, who are usually busy travelling and working, don’t really have a work-life balance. But due to this crisis, they don’t have to travel anymore so they save 2 hours every day. Let’s say they choose to spend that time with their family. Over a period of time, parents get more time to interact with the kids bringing them closer. The kids realize the value of the role that each family member plays. They bond even more willing with their parents now. Thus the love and understanding keep getting mirrored in both the parents and the kids. Can you relate?

This is a good check to see if you understand your relationships:

1. When someone makes you feel a certain way, then it is the way you either have made them feel or currently are making them feel.
2. Identify: HOW YOU FEEL? Describe your feelings / jot it down in many verbs.
3. Identify: How are YOU making them FEEL that way? (See their actions and not words)
4. Switch to a strategy and address how they feel. What can you change in your thoughts? How can your words and actions change and how can you be consistent with it? That’s the work YOU need to do.

 

To conclude this pretty personal topic, Beau Taplin said, “Whoever said the small things don’t matter has never seen a match start a wildfire.”

I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this and it serves you somewhere in your journey through COVID 19. If you feel someone can benefit from this, please Share this ahead! You can also follow this page by typing in your Email Id in the FOLLOW box.

Have a great week!

Next post: Grab your Notebook and a Pen!