There can never be a day without work, when you are working under N*w*l. Like Never
These were one of the terrifying lines that my going-to-be-best friend-for-the-next-2-months; also fondly known as “MY Buddy” in official terms, mentioned when I met her for the first time. It was my 2nd day in the BIG corporate world with 20 other team mates. Chilled out as Wine, and Perfect to the T, I had a “Ready made” friend waiting for me, who desperately wanted some one to work under her, even if it was JUST FOR A DAY. Luckily “A Day” turned into 4 months for her. I guess, she was looking forward to achieve THAT feeling. (Ok so THAT FEELING is huge, even I get it now. Let me explain)
So to explain THAT FEELING: it is that sense of chilling when you conveniently ask your subordinates to get your chindi work done. Things like Bank tracing, POD referencing, making trackers and like all chotu stuff which doesn’t require Anything. Apart from TIME Man ( Like you don’t even need brains to do it). So the general consensus up there is: Why do we waste so much time behind this miniscule work when you can divert the same time towards making everyone’s Social lives better. We could beneficially divert those 20 minutes that we take to make those UPDATED CONFIRMATION TRACKERS and spend the equivalent time towards Facebook and Twitter updates. Dude those worldly trackers are more Important than getting these Third Party Bank Confirmations. Following up with these banking guys is another task in itself. Some INDIE – CULT Bank reps say they don’t have any client accounts, some throw up random account balances, Some say, “Get lost. We have a life” whereas the other one has to mumble-
“Madam, As per the RBI Notifications, you shall not get anything for free here. We are a Sarkari Bank not charitable institute. Please pay Rs 300 per confirmation, and your work will be done. Thank you.” (PS: Get into Audit and thou shall know it all)
So yea back to That Feeling.
Imagine this: When you are legally allowed to chipkaao your kaam to who ever is working under you and Like a Boss get away with so many people asking for it. All this when you have achieved nothing more than a Graduate degree from a random Mumbai college, which you attended only for the sake of those stupid exams.
How much of a distressed life would that be?
My Buddy was about to experience that, all thanks to me. Atleast that’s what she must have thought. (Hopefully she din’t have to listen to Boss’s sarcastic taunts at midnight while a Review was on a day before a deadline. I hope I could give her that comfort :P)
So she was awarded with what was supposed to be her long dreamt wish. After a long wait, she finally became a Buddy on 24th February 2014. And in bargain, her job was pretty simple. To teach me the tricks of the trade. Now that I think about it, all this buddy business was probably to avoid the awkwardness that a lot of people would get into.
Foresight, I tell you.
It may quite happen that new joinees may ask the stupidest questions at the worst of times to some Real Standard Bade Log, or ask for some really Swag Client Data at some random Chai break and all. So just to act like a magician where they already know what the final outcome would be when you deal with this person like this and that person like that, was the concept of Buddy brought into existence.
Life was set for me. She was my light who was assigned an additional task: to guide me to survive in the New Big World that I had very recently entered into. And as a treat, each new joiner could loot the work place of a 1000 bucks at the end of the 2 months by taking his buddy to hog. Or whatever.
So all I had to do was take instructions from her for my daily chores and get it done.She was my new mini boss. Like for Eg:
1.Listen to new Audit gyaan everyday.
2. Learn about how to pataao clients for giving those samples (AGAIN) and not ask them to put all this on mail. Nahi to Boss maarega naa!
3. What to order, how much to order, from where to order.
4. How to gossip smartly when boss doesn’t let you go early as promised and pretend that you are religiously working.
5. Safai of workpapers and other workings ( Khud ka and baaki public ka )
6. Removing colours and unwanted comments( After a review )
7. How to chill when you are at an offsite with 100 other people.
8. How to convince boss to give you nice work. Leave from work at 12 A.M. And get it done with a Peg at 2 A.M in the morning at home. Return to work at 9 A.M and continue.
9. How to get your work in shape on that Saturday night when you are just not in the mood to work AND be happy about it. (Specially when only 2 of you are working and the rest of the team is enjoying the weekend)
Though I had a tough time in this new world, she was the only constant who was always there for me. She has bachhaood me from the boss’s wraths ( Even in her dreams, Like seriously) and has dhoofied all my paaps which I innocently made since I was naïve.
Its been 2 years since those days have gone by. And I miss her (more than ever). She is working hard towards completing her other dreams and I am here working on my own.Now its my turn to help these new juniors to get their share of experience and worldly gyaan.
This is probably what they call Work Experience.
- chindi – Small odd jobs
- Chipkaao your kaam – Allocate your work to juniors
- Bade Log – Extreme Seniors on the Job
- pataao – Convince
- Nahi to Boss maarega naa!- Time to get screwed
- bachhaood – Acted as a saviour
- dhoofied – Washed off
- paaps – Mistakes at work, the so called sins you get judged for.